Angry walls that steal the air

There are few experiences in this world to rival the pleasantness unique to doing the necessary in a construction job site restroom. You know, those lovely, sweet-smelling portable plastic out-houses? Ahhh, I feel blessed in my profession several times a day that it affords me such pleasures in life that I get to frequent these sanitary trophies of modern man. It really is quite nice---ehh, I know I'm sarcastic, but this is pushing it. Sorry.

The truth is, those bathrooms are NASTY!!!! And not nasty in a good way. In a bad, skin-crawling, want-to-wash-like-Howard-Hughes way. It takes a strong will, constitution, and an intense need pee to use these "restrooms." Even though I do, of necessity, use them, I still shudder occasionally at the state of them. Especially now, as the weather is warming and soon the flies will be swarming . . . man, I'm gonna need a stiff drink.

It's times like these that I'm thankful that my plumbing doesn't require that I sit to void my bladder. And I hope that doesn't offend all you of the feminine persuasion out there . . . I hope that most of you will rarely or never need to use one of these facilities.

What's worse is when the "honey-wagon" comes to "clean" them out. That raises a stench that can bring big burly men to their knees in tears. Honest, I've seen it happen. I met a man once who owned and operated his own truck cleaning porta-potties. Now, that's a shitty job. Seriously, I'm hard pressed to think of an occupation that more directly deals with human waste, save it be that of a politician.

An interesting aside to all this is the obscene graffiti that invariably graces the walls of these restrooms. Where rednecks and latinos flaunt their ignorance and prejudice in pictures and words. I sometimes find myself coming out of one shaking my head not at the stench--well, not wholly at that-- but at the realization that I'm surrounded by some stupid people who feel the need to show the rest of us how stupid they are with what they write therein.

Ok, I know this wasn't the wholesome post you've all come to expect from me, and that it really kind of smells. And maybe it speaks to my mental capacity, or lack thereof, that this is all I can think of to write about.

Oh, well, such is life. Hope all is well with all of you, and if you find yourself in need to use one of the above mentioned out-houses, I hope everything comes out all right.